Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize