Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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