Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
