She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
