We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
