i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize