my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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