He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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