I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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