yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
