you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
