Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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