I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
