In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i believe in u and ur pee
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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