guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize