Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
