i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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