I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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