her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
