...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm like, not good at living.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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