She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
