is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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