I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize