Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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