Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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