I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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