Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ugly people sure do ruin things
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Randomize
