so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
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Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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