Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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