I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
