You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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