Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
