so explain again why im purple
no
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
