i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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