Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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