if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
