i permit you to call me
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
