he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
