I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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