Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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