Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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