i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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