i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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