i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
