Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
