I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
