I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
