Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
