Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
