Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
