a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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