Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
