Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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