He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
