I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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